Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
