just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
