Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
