well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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