Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
