well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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