i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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