she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
