Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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