I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
