OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm jealous of your bromance
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
