Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
