I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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