yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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