last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
