i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
