Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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