Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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