i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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