It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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