i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
