D3 body, D1 cock
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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