a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
