Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I am one with the molecules
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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