He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
