Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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