You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
