Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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