let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
