your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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