So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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