but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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