What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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