Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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