Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
