I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
