I want you more than these girls want KFC
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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