soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
