TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
