So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
