i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
im on a boat
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