And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize