so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
