Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
