I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
