Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
