bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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