I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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