I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Randomize
