are you so shy because you have an std?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
