you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
