Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
