i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
