yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
