my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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