it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
