I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
