she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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